I took this medicine last night that lets me get good sleep. Since I wasn’t feeling good yesterday I thought I would take the medicine and get some sound sleep. Point was to simply escape my crappy waking life. Do not worry. The med has been prescribed to me by my shrink. I know very little about the reason behind that prescription, but yes, it is safe for me to take. Although, I don’t take it regularly. The reason? I’ll tell you.
This morning I didn’t want get out of bed. I wished I could continue sleeping in my cosy quilt and not go to office, instead. Since I had work to take care of in office, and since I feel responsible for the work that’s under me, I finally decided to get out of bed, take a shower, leave for work. I was 1 hour and 40 minutes late to work. When I reached I realized talking irritated me. People irritated me. I just wanted to be left alone. But they didn’t. They thought I was arrogant, filled with pride, and wallowing in some kind of superiority complex. I let them think that.
Out of all days. I don’t know why, today, my manager decided to negate all the suggestions that I was giving. It infuriated me; I felt helpless; I felt as if the universe was ganging up on me to make me feel like that. I wanted to cry. I wanted to talk to someone. At that moment, I wished I could pick up my phone a dial your number and pour my heart out. I couldn’t, because we are on a break.
As the day progressed, the urge to talk to someone grew. By then, everyone had lost their interest in talking to me. It wasn’t like I was taking them for granted. Nor did I not want to talk to them about my issues. I wasn’t even too proud to approach to someone. I didn’t do it because I would’ve fallen apart or broken down, and the illusion that people have of me, would’ve broken. So I simply decided to be alone. In that situation, had I opened my mouth to reply to an irritant, that person would’ve borne the brunt of my anger.
Now it’s evening and time to go home. Everyone has left except a few people, and I’m alone sitting typing this post, and remembering that when I leave the premises, I wouldn’t be calling you, like everyday, to discuss my day.
So, there. This is how my day was.