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On Being Bullied

People tease me; make fun of my hair, of the way I speak.

There is this one guy who holds some kind of grudge against me because I look like I’m someone superior to him. Maybe he has some kind of superiority complex.

But what they don’t know is that I’m fighting my own demons. They perceive my introvert behaviour as some kind of arrogance. God will not forgive them.

I, anyway, feel like I’m a punching bag. I feel like I’m being bullied by these alphas of the group. But since when did I start belonging to a group? Wasn’t I a loner?

It’s better to be a loner if this is how group dynamics work.

I don’t wanna learn how to tackle them. I just wanna be me. I just want to feel safe and emotionally secure.

Perhaps, I don’t know them long enough to understand that they mean no harm. Maybe they mean harm. I am terrified and confused. I wanna hide somewhere, but unfortunately I can’t. I’m on my way to work where I’ll meet those bullies again.

Maybe I’ll just keep my distance from them.

These things bother me a lot. I haven’t stopped thinking about it since the incident. Maybe I ain’t as strong as I think I am. Below this hardcore exterior, is a scared, vulnerable, super-sensitive, mellow, innocent baby who needs a mommy. 😥

I wish I could act the smiley right now.

I’ll talk to my shrink tomorrow.

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