God, and HIS Ways!

God cannot be everywhere. So He comes in our lives in different forms. In my case, He has come in HIS form.

Whose form, you ask?

Let me tell you something about this form: This form is a man who suffers from a major illness, is on medication of all kinds, and has been going through a tremendous lot of mental, emotional, physical, and financial pressure. Most of his days pass in anticipation that the pain would subside and that he would be able to resume work because that’s what we expect of our men, isn’t it? He isn’t able to give me his full attention, nor is he a good communicator because he is always preoccupied with his illness and other problems. So, you see, his plate is full.

Nonetheless, he is also a man who deeply cares, immensely feels, accurately understands, generously gives, responsibly protects, is wholeheartedly devoted, and is an epitome of pure patience. You should see how his face lights up when little saplings sprout from the seeds he sows in his farm!

By the time it is 9 pm, he runs out of steam, and is ready to hit the sack. And, I am the last thing on his mind before dozing off. 🙂

He pings me every night around the same time. We chat on BBM for about a few minutes, and eventually fall asleep assuming we are in each other’s arms.

But, today was one of those rare days when he forgets to ping me and falls asleep because of extreme exhaustion or pain.

I am no exception to bad days either. Struggling with depression, being unemployed and penniless, at the same time, really takes it out of you.

So this evening, I was lonelier than usual. I needed to talk to somebody and I wanted that somebody to be him. But he had already fallen asleep. I was in tears. So I left him a BBM message, just in case.

A couple minutes later there was a response. My eyes lit up!

He had woken up from his slumber and, still groggy, apologized for having dozed off. When I told him how lonely and isolated I was feeling, he did the most heart-warming thing ever:

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And I was smiling once again!

He went back to sleep immediately after saying his good-nights. (May he dream of cute puppies and soft kittens!)

God, and HIS ways!

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Do You have Regrets?

Let’s consider memory loss.

I went to a movie theatre this evening to watch Maze Runner: The Death Cure. It’s a pretty entertaining sci-fi movie that shows a group of people trying to rescue their friend, Minho, trapped in a facility in a fortified city. Inside the facility, scientists conduct experiments on humans to find a cure for a virus that’s destroyed the human race.

Experiments are conducted on Minho’s brain and body. The experiments are nothing less than torture that exhaust him mentally and physically, and begin to compromise his memory.

In that moment I tried to put myself in his shoes and feel the emotions he was going through.

I ended up feeling scared.

A thought struck me hard: what if we were given a chance to wipe out the memory of an unpleasant and damaging incident?

Would you do it?

Now think about that unpleasant and damaging incident. It created cracks in your soul and your relationships.

What did you learn from it?

Today, you are wiser because you have learnt something through these life experiences. When you learn something, you implement it. It is an action that you take, and our actions define us.

That incident, no matter how it was, has defined you. It has become a part of you. A piece of you. It completes you.

So when I put myself in his shoes, I felt scared, because I felt lost; like I was plunged back into the dark; like I was confused and incomplete; like some parts of me were missing. I felt disappointed that I would have to begin again and that my life was being wasted.

The overwhelming fear and pain made me snap out of the daze immediately. Relief rushed through me. Thank goodness, I was still me!

Good or bad, experiences are precious. Why regret anything?

Be glad that you are living a full life the way it’s meant to be.